Calm, Forward, Straight

Calm, Forward, Straight

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

"There is an excellent chance that there will be fallout" + clearing the air

Sorry for the long break - I've started this post several times, but needed to wait for inspiration to find the right words.... words that weren't angry.

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned a situation with our farrier and another local client. Mostly in the interest of keeping the story brief, I relayed it in a way that could be misinterpreted - if you happened to know any of the parties involved, and if you are the only local person I have shared my blog info with.

Frankly, I had absolutely no idea that my blog was being read locally. How would I? In over two years, there has been not one comment on the blog, or conversation person to person, to that effect.

The folks who regularly read, who seem genuinely interested in Val's and my story, let me know with comments and by following - by sharing their stories with me... by interacting. When I venture to talk about dressage around here, about what I'm trying to do with my horse, eyes glaze over pretty quickly, and the subject gets changed. That's the main reason I began blogging in the first place. And that is why I have refrained from sharing my blog info locally.

I had several upsetting conversations regarding what I chose to post about the farrier visit. The main issues stemmed from semantics, and ignorance about what blogging actually encompasses. What really bugged me out was that anyone thinks they have the right to censor my words, on my personal blog. The best I can do is present things as I see them. I don't spend my time and energy gossiping, running people down, or talking behind their backs in my non virtual life, and that's not my style on the blog either.



A clarification about the day in question. There was no one to hold G's horse as she was out of town. (he needed two shoes plus trimming) She had offered to find someone several weeks earlier, but this brought up a recurring issue. Our farrier doesn't give exact appointment times. He never has that I know of. Too many variables with all of the travel he does to get here etc. G has requested an appointment time previously, so I presume she is well aware of the situation. What usually works for me is a heads up call that gives me time to get to the barn, if I'm not there. Sometimes W brings an assistant, but not always, and not this time. Hence, I offered to hold the horse, in the interest of making the farrier's life a little easier. Now - how boring (and unnecessary) was that paragraph?

Hence forth, I will write whatever I please - so read at your own risk. I will resort to the artifice of initials when referring to parties in question. I will tell the frenemy story as well. It will likely be a password protected post, so there will be no need to worry about judging, questioning or correcting my version of events. I've been meaning to tell this story since I began blogging. It was seminal in my decision to dive into horse ownership, and it changed my life.

Thank goodness that is off of my chest. Lots of positive horse business from the last very busy week. Tomorrow. :)

22 comments:

Grey Horse Matters said...

Love that picture!

My thoughts are it's your blog, your words and your opinions, if some people don't like it they don't have to read it. Some people with nothing better to do usually have a lot to say about other people when they should pretty much mind their own business.

For my part I like reading how you and Val are getting along with your training. Also how you are living on the island in the Shimmy Shack and gardening etc. I give you a lot of credit and think you are a person with courage and a great sense of humor. I also think it was very nice of you to help the farrier out by holding the horse.

in2paints said...

I'm always keeping my posts in check... well, not so much now, but back when things were really bad at one of my past barns. I never wrote anything I wouldn't say to someone's face, but I was cautious not to start something because I knew it could get back to those I was writing about. Everything was a bit sugar coated and it sucks when you have to do that on your own blog!

Part of me thinks I should just write whatever I want, and sometimes I do, but I usually end up going back to make things more PC. I say write what you feel, and to hell with what anyone thinks! (I should follow suit!)

horsemom said...

I'm sorry this happened:( I feel the same about sharing my blog with local people, sometimes I like to vent about the abusive stuff that goes on in the local horse world and I have hard time keeping my mouth shut about it;) plus I have kids and I don't want any weird stalkers knowing where we are since I like to share about my boys, too.
Hope this all blows over soon.

juliette said...

Any time you get frustrated with human silly behavior, just go groom Val. It works every time. He gets really clean and is massaged a lot and your worries will vanish.

I am so sorry that you have had stress at all from this nonsense. Stay focused on you and your goals with Val. He is the sweetie that deserves all your attention.

billie said...

Here's hoping for more Val riding posts and updates on your amazing garden!

jill said...

Um, let me guess....someone's mad you held the horse for the farrier.

Fetlock said...

I used to publish a small-town paper, and I'm afraid I grew rather paranoid about people knowing what I thought all the time (one of the reasons I use a handle, although anyone who was trying could probably easily track me down). I know exactly what you mean about what if feels like to have people accuse you of not saying something right (or whatever).

Sometimes ya just gotta vent a little...I deal with a lot of problems at my place due to crummy neighbors, and I think that's fairly commonplace these days (unfortunately). And it IS your blog, after all. Arlene's right...if they don't like it, they don't have to read it.

Val said...

No matter how careful you are, there is always the possibility that someone will get upset with what you write. That being said, I still try not to get too personal on my blog, because anyone can read it and could be reading it. That being said, you have a right to share your perspective and how you feel and others cannot really fault you for sharing those things on your blog.

Funder said...

The intersection of real life and blogging is always so awkward. I don't think your previous post was inflammatory! Good on you for writing what you want.

I like initials, just to keep the focus on me. Ugh, that sounds so egotistical, but what I mean is I'm writing about me and my horse, not gossip about other people and their horses. How other people handle their horses is usually incidental to my story of Dixie and me.

allhorsestuff said...

I too suffer from having to " edit truth and emotions" out of my blog for my PBO's read it, and my fellow boarders.

I have a non published(very crappily written) private blog I started for myself, to vent and record things. No one can read it but me. That's how I cope with not being able to write outloud on my public, scrutinized blog.

Life's so full of drama, I try to keep it to a minimum.

If you write your tale, sounds like you will, may I be invited to read?

It is tough with schedules when things like travel, unwilling horses, or other circumstances pop up. Your Farrier does the best he can and probably meets up with those that think him a miracle worker ,instead of human with normal issues.
I know, sometimes I get that too with hairstyling too!

Jenn said...

My only advice (from years of writing and being in the public eye) is don't let anyone censor what you write, but consider censoring yourself from time to time. And always assume the person you are writing about is reading what you write.

For what it's worth, I read nothing "extra" into the original post...I took it how it was intended (I think) and assumed that while you were intending to help out the farrier you may have raised the hackles of a neighbor with whom you don't see eye to eye.

Calm, Forward, Straight said...

Thanks so much for the kind support and good advice!

To further clarify...

The problem as it turned out - wasn't holding the horse - it was my opinion of why the horse needed to be held. A third party objected to how and that, I characterized the situation on the blog. (the only (local) friend I have shared my blog with)

So that's enough convolutions for me. I'm a very straightforward person, and it is too much effort to try to word things so that no one could possibly misinterpret them should they stumble upon my blog, or be reading it all along but never let on.

I suppose if I were a more creative writer, I could have found a way to express my frustration more allegorically. Maybe have woven them in with some important horse lesson...

I think I'd rather ride. :)

Sand. said...

Been there, censored that. Actually had someone come right up to me and say "You can't say that!".

Except I can, and I will. And you should, and I can tell, you will.

It is rather alarming to find out that there's "stalkers", these silent followers who listen in but never let you know that they're there. And then *boom* they don't like what you write and are all over you. Guess what? It shouldn't change anything.

But keep in mind, there's a lot of good stalkers too. I've had locals finally break down and confess to be reading, and tell me that I've said the things they're too scared to voice, or they think the same things and don't know how to communicate it. So take comfort that it's not all bad, and the bad, well, who cares about them anyways? Do this for you, do it for Val and do it for us! We love reading your blog!

Wolfie said...

I echo Grey Horse Matters sentiments. It's your blog and you can say what you want; people are not forced to read it. I enjoy reading about your adventures very much. I am looking forward to seeing some pics of beautiful veggies this year!! :-)

Sharon T said...

I think since it's your blog you may write as you please. If it offends someone, nobody is making them read it. Leaving negative, non-constructive comments is just bad manners. Like our mothers taught us, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Please keep writing about you and Val and whatever else you wish. You seem to have many others who enjoy reading your adventures.

-Horseless and blogless, Sharon

Dom said...

Things like this are precisely why I have a public blog and a locked blog. I've learned to be VERY careful about what I post in public (which is a shame because I have SO much to say). Too much fall out in the real world.

Calm, Forward, Straight said...

Sand-

Being told I can't do something makes me want to do it more - an admittedly juvenile response. ;)

Wolfie-
Just got some seed in the ground this afternoon. :)

Sharon-

Thanks for your kind comment, and for visiting. Welcome!

Dom-

I thought of you when this situation came up. ;)

Anonymous said...

... de-cloaking ...
I recently came upon your blog from a side link in another horse blog. Like at least one of your posters, I too am horseless... I smile at the successes and have grieved with the losses I have read about online.

I've enjoyed your adventures with Val and look forward to many more ... and gardening too! I play around with raised beds ... veg and flowers.

It's your blog, so write away!
Love the photo ... blooming trees and horses (guess that was photoshopped)
...

Annette said...

I think password protection is a good idea when you need to vent. I have a lot of neighbors who read my blog so I have to be careful.

Melissa-ParadigmFarms said...

And some people wonder why I like to spend so much time with horses rather than people. What a complete waste of time and emotional energy and I'm sorry you had to deal with it at all. The levels of political correctness required by some people are simply exhausting.

Terry said...

Oh, I'm sorry this happened to you. It should be clear to anybody that this is your blog, your point of view, and you can say what you want. Shame on someone censoring you.

achieve1dream said...

I don't think anyone but that one person took it the wrong way. He/she was just being overly sensitive. I think it's nice you offered to help the farrier since no one was available to hold the horse, because shoeing/trimming a loose horse can be dangerous for a farrier all by himself. Don't let it bother you. If people want to get upset over dumb things like how something was worded then that's up to them. No reason for you to stress over it. I know someone who with take anything I say and twist it to suit them so I know how crappy it can be dealing with that, but at this point I don't care. They can think whatever they want to think!! Just as we can as well. :D

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